Crazy Bitch Harasses Famous Butt Pirate With Her Crazy Wife/Pregnancy-Based Delusions

In what has got to be the most hilarious example of female insanity I have ever seen, a crazy cat lady is now convinced homosexual actor Leonardo DiCaprio is her husband and the father of her baby.

Isn’t this cunt behind the times? Aren’t all the girls hung up on that guy who looks like a combination between a nutsack and a hairy lesbian neanderthal who played in Twilight? Oh well, maybe this bitch has been schizophrenic since the 90’s and the voices in her head haven’t updated her on it yet.

Article here.

LOS ANGELES – Leonardo DiCaprio has been granted a temporary restraining against a woman he said claims to be his wife and carrying his baby.

When I was a kid, all the girls were under the delusion that this homo would marry them and father their children someday if they just obsessed over him long enough (fat chance,I told them. Even if he wasn’t gayer than greek wrestling,he’s rich, he could BUY better pussy in Asia or South America). I guess this woman just took it to the next logical step and created the entire creepy scenario in her mind.

“Given this obsessive and harassing behavior, I am frightened of Ms. Bistriceanu and feel that my personal safety, and the personal safety of those around me, is in jeopardy,” DiCaprio wrote in a sworn declaration.

Shit man, I don’t blame you. This is the kind of broad who would give herself AIDS and rape you in your sleep just to exact revenge on you for her being scorned in her imagination. If I were you,I’d tread carefully,man. Get a doberman or two and sick the fucking dogs on the bitch the next time she shows up. You can’t let these pigs get away with this kind of stuff here. This is America,goddamnit.

DiCaprio’s request included statements from the actor and his security team claiming Bistriceanu had traveled from Chicago to Los Angeles at least twice to try to meet DiCaprio at his home and business office. She refused to leave the properties and acted aggressively, the court filings state.

My theory is she was taking a concentrated mixture of cocaine and benzedrine and had been upset,possibly contemplating an imaginary abortion,and just popped over for a chat to try to smooth things out in their imaginary marriage.

That’s when things went horribly wrong. When she confronted him,Leonardo became upset . This woman had depended on her imaginary husband for years to support her in the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed, and she couldn’t afford an imaginary divorce at this time as her imaginary divorce lawyer wanted a significant deposit up front for tackling this high-profile target. Lacking an easy way out,the woman attempted to bribe Leo’s bodyguards in order to get access to him to no avail and harsh words were exchanged.

One letter included the greeting, “Dear husband Leo,” and contained statements that Bistriceanu believed DiCaprio was the father of baby Jesus

Holy fuck,man, the last time we heard something like that Charles Manson was being investigated.

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New Look

I decided to scrap the old look of my blog. While I enjoy the dark and foreboding pure black background,I realize it may hurt some people’s eyes ,which is why I’ve made this move to a more reader-friendly theme. I keep most of what I enjoyed about the other one, trading in some of the other features for a nice off-white/grayish white background for the text. I’m not sure if I’ll stick with this theme permanently. If you like it, rate this post up or comment,I will choose a theme based on reader input.

Anti-feminist poster,by me!

Feel free to post this anywhere you choose,then watch as hilarity unfolds.

A possible short break…..

Having some issues with my computer which might prevent me from posting for a couple of days. If so,I’ll spend my downtime doing research for more posts.

Just a little kick….

America’s Funniest Home Videos made its living off of showing men getting hit in the balls. In the interest of equality between the sexes, I present to you:

Just a little kick


a little kickflip in the cunt

Ahhhh…..fame.

Whilst slogging around the web today,I discovered that not only am I famous, some guy named Bubba has actually written a very nice sonnet in my ignoble honor. Thanks, Bubba, I’m touched. Here’s the link to it, I would post it here but it might be some kind of faux pas,considering I don’t know the dude. It’d be a shame if people stopped churning out tributes to my glory.

Keep ’em coming,Bubba, and you’ll be moving up in the Underworld.

A Musical Interlude or Drumbeat of the New Revolution